Monday, December 21, 2015

ManCat Monday: Sammy, Forever in my Heart...



I did not know I would have to say goodbye to you today...


I did not know, and if I had, what would I have done differently today...


I would have kissed your sweet forehead one more time...


I would have told you how happy having you in my life made me.


You could have told me you loved me, too, with your face close to mine.


I could have held you close and let you feel my heartbeat.


I could have given you an extra helping of fishy flakes.


I might have wondered if we would have another nap together.


I might have made time for that nap, a simple pleasure for us both.


But I did not know...but I know now...how much I loved you.


And how much you will be missed...


Fly free, Sweet Sammy... Your heart was broken, and my heart is aching.


We tried to keep you here with us, but it was time and I said farewell...


I want to tell you about Sammy. 

He didn't like to travel--far from it! He had his own Thunder Shirt for trips in the car, to try to keep him calm and lessen 'accidents'.  He was told by one vet to 'Never Come Back'...yeah, we didn't!

You didn't see much of him here on our blog, but he was a presence here at home. He didn't dress up much, but he did go to #BlogPaws once...one of the "Flat Pack" instead of Rat Pack!



He was less threatening without his 'bitey' teeth, having to have an almost full-mouth extraction a number of year ago due to severe resorptive disease, but he still was a wrestler at the vets!

He used to be a daddy cat. He was a gentleman with the lady cats. He was very hard to 'read' and had Fractious in red on his chart. But all the staff admired his studly demeanor

He mellowed with age and shared his love in little ways one might miss, but I never did. He loved me. He trusted me.

He was content in his old age to snuggle with Kely and lay in the sun. I was happy they had each other in their Golden Years, both of them 15 years old now...


He had a known mild heart condition, very stable and he was hypertensive but doing well on meds. He had just seen the cardiologist and was given the go-ahead to have his teeth cleaned.

He just did not recover normally after the procedure last Wednesday. He did not want to eat. He did not want to come out of his heated bed.

He went back in to the vet's and got more pain meds, and something for nausea and we began subcutaneous fluids. He let me minister to his needs, but continued to decline.

Today, he came in to work with me and his condition worsened. He was cold, shutting down. They warmed him with a Bair Hugger. He hung in there and I felt there was hope.

But his lab work, which had been normal a few weeks ago...told us why he felt so bad. BUN 140, Creatinine 4.6, Glucose 400. The doctor thought he was possibly having a pancreatitis flare. I was scared.

More blood was to be drawn for more tests, and a catheter placed so he could get IV fluid therapy. But as those treatments were begun, he went into cardiac arrest. They brought him back once. but he didn't stabilize. The cardiologists were called, and they felt his heart issue was not the cause of what he was going through now.

He did not respond to all the emergency care being administered, hope was fading as he was, and I made the decision to let him go gently. And he did. And I said goodbye. And I kissed his forehead one more time. And I told him I loved him.

So today I did some of those things I loved to do with Sammy...but I am crying and sad because I will never have the chance to do those things again with him. But I will share that love that was for him tonight with my other cats. And I will tell them I love them, too. And I will try and live each day not having regrets of missed chances, but to remember the happy days and may time soften the memories of this sad day...

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.

( I'd come - I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers? )
And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!

There are so many things I wanted still to do -
So many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...
It was Just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see Beyond...
But this I know:
I love you so -
'twas heaven here with you!
(By "Isla Paschal Richardson")

82 comments:

  1. We are so furry sorry for the loss of your precious Sammy. Sending you hugs & purrs.

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  2. I am so sorry about Sammy. Thank you for sharing a little bit of him with us.

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  3. How heartbreaking! I am so very sorry for the loss of Sammy. Your words are beautiful and we know how much your heart must ache! Sending gentle purrs and hugs, Teri xxx

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  4. Please know that he brought joy to not only you but all those he sired. Our family is forever indebted to you not only for our Sam but for your friendship. You have made my family's life brighter. Please know that the tears you shed are not alone-we mourn with you our friend. Please reach out if you need anything! Love, Lynn, Julie, Sam and family!

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  5. So very sorry to hear the news of Sammy. He was a special boy and knew love from you and those around him. He will not be forgotten.

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  6. What a beautiful tribute in both words and images. It's so hard to adjust when it's unexpected. We will all remember him now.

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  7. Oh Terri we are beyond sorry. Sammy could not have had better medical care ANYWHERE on the planet not could he have been more loved.
    Sammy will always be in your heart, thanks so much for sharing him with us.

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  8. We are so very sorry to hear the news about Sammy. We send you comforting purrs....

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  9. Oh Terri, I am so very very sorry. Losing a loved one is never easy.. as they always take a bit of you with them. Many purrs of healing and condolence.

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  10. oh Miss Teri....we are so very sorry. He was VERY loved and we know he knew that.....mom is crying with you and we are sending you very gentle purrs

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  11. What a byootiful tribute to Mr. Sammy. Know that he loved you so much and he waits peacefully for you at Rainbow Bridge.

    Sending purrs & hugz,
    Princess Jazzy

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  12. My heart is just broken for you and I'm sitting here sobbing at your beautiful tribute. {{{HUGS}}}

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  13. I'm so sorry, Teri. Sending you much love and comforting thoughts.

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  14. We're so sorry that Sammy had to leave for the Bridge. Your post shows the love you had for each other. (((hugs)))

    The Florida Furkids

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  15. Oh Terri, we are so so sorry. Sammy sounds like he was a wonderful cat. What a great post to him. That was terrific. Needless to say, lots of tears here. Big hugs to you Terri. Thanks for this wonderful tribute. We know Sammy liked it. Try to have a good Christmas and just keep remembering the fun days with Sammy.

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  16. We're so sorry to hear it was Sammy's time to go to the bridge. Your post was so touching and it's obvious the love between you. Sending purrs and hugs.

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  17. We are so sorry. Sending gentle hugs and purrs to you.

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  18. My heart aches for you. I am so so so sorry on the loss of your beloved Sammy. Keeping you in my thoughts and purrs.

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  19. I am so sorry, Terri. It is so hard to say goodbye.

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  20. We are so very sorry. We are sending you HUGS and soft kitty purrs to help you heal.

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  21. Oh Teri. I'm so sorry. I'm sitting here in tears. I will call you later. Xoxo

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  22. We are so, so sorry to hear about dear Sammy. I know there just isn't the right words right now, so I'll just drop off some hugs and we send you all our love.

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  23. Sorry for your loss. Fly free Sammy!

    Purrs,
    CJ and Mia

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  24. hugs and purrz of love fur dear Sammy... for me always to strong willed ones that grab my heart and won't let go... Fly free Sammy to heaven with Jesus.... Mommy will see you again some day...

    Purrz and Prayers,
    Katie Kat the Mom
    and the Katz

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  25. Purrs and prayers from us to you. We're so sorry for your loss.

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  26. Prayers for you, dear Teri. And for those who remain to mourn his loss.
    With love,
    Ann

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  27. Oh Teri, I am so sorry for your loss of Sammy. The words never seem adequate so I send love and hugs.

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  28. I am so sorry, Teri.
    I hope you know that he knows, from his new place in the universe, that you love him, that he was so lucky to have you in his life, that you will be together again.
    You and Kely are in my prayers in your time of grief.

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  29. I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm heart broken for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  30. We are so deeply, deeply sorry to hear this sad news. Sending you gentle (((hugs))) of comfort, love and our deepest sympathy. Caren, Cody and Dakota catchatwithcarenandcody

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  31. Oh, we are SO sorry for your loss. It's hard at any time of year. We appreciated reading about Sammy and will take a moment when we go home to tell all of our kitties the things we would want to say. Thank you for the reminder. Sending comfort and purrs, Alana and Crepes.

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  32. Oh Teri, I know only too well how your heart must ache for Sammy. He will live on in your memories and in your heart. Thank you for sharing him with us. Fly free sweet boy. Say hi to Georgie for me at the Bridge. Sending big hugs to your Teri.

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  33. We were so very sorry to hear about Sammy. Our thoughts-

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  34. Run free at the Bridge sweet one.. You will never be forgotten!
    love
    tweedles

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  35. So sorry for your loss of a dearly beloved kitty companion.

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  36. Teri, we were so sorry to hear about Sammy. We know you always did the best for him and that he was loved, cherished and respected by you during his time with you. You did well by him right until the end. We are sending you our heartfelt condolences. May Sammy rest in peace. Love and hugs,
    the critters in the cottage and their Mama Sophie xo

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  37. Oh Teri what sudden, awfully sad loss of your dear Sammy. I send deep condolences and soft purrs of comfort.

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  38. Reading this is flood of tears for you and for Sammy. I wish I could take away your hurt, but I guess it shows how deeply engraved he was upon your heart and soul. I am so sorry he's gone - he sounded a wonderful cat. Oh I love 'fractious' it made me smile through the tears Sammy must've been an amazing character.

    :-)

    Fly free lovely Sammy. You will be missed by your family and I just fell in love with you too.

    Marjorie and th Dash Kitten crew

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  39. Oh Terri, Sammy was such a pawsum mancat. He will be missed, but live on furever in da hearts and lives he touched. As a community of fellow cats and cat luvvers we gwieve wiff you. We're sendin' lots and lots of purrayers and hugs. We know Sammy is da new star shinin' bright in da night.

    Luv ya'

    Dezi and Lexi and mommy Audra

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  40. We are so sorry for your loss. We, too, have had a recent loss and so pain shared is pain lightened. We found you through Zooaltry post. Purrs and prayers. Toby and Mom

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  41. Oh no, we're so sorry for your loss of sweet Sammy ! We send you comforting purrs and gentle headbonks. Purrs

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  42. This is such a beautiful tribute. We are all sharing your grief.
    Sympathy and love from
    Maggie, Mickey Mouser, and Rufus the Red

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  43. Dearest Teri, Please accept my condolences on your loss of Sammy. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve. So many friends have left us recently. It is so heartbreaking. Sending you lots of love and warm hugs, Janet

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  44. Teri, my heart is broken too.
    I hope Sammypants can meet up with Caesar and Prinnie.
    They would have a lot to purr about, all the love and such with life.'You have hands holding you for support always

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  45. I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy to lose our furry ones. Sending hugs and purrs for all of you

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  46. So sorry to learn of your loss. I have had this heartache so many times. My heart goes out to you. I know your sweet one is contented and comes around to be with you at times.

    Debby in Prescott Valley, Arizona
    http://homelesscatcare.blogspot.com/

    http://www.YourAngelSpeaks.com

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  47. We are all so sad here to hear of your loss of Sammy. Your tribute is beautiful and made mom's eyes leak. She gave us all big hugs and kisses. Sending purrs to you, Miss Teri.

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  48. So sorry to hear about your lovely boy. What a nice post -he was lucky to be so loved by you.

    Julie and Poppy Q

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  49. Oh dear Teri! I am dreadfully sad to read about your precious boy going so fast. You gave him love and he gave it right back to you...to the last second. That made you both lucky in this cold world...may the sweet memories comfort you during this gray time...
    we care so much and know well the preciousness of the Devon and Cornish breed...that makes us lucky too!
    Love Karla

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  50. Hugs & soft purrrrayers to all of you! There are no words, but know that our purrs echo your love for Sammy.

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  51. We are so sorry to hear of Sammy's passing.
    This was a wonderful post that told us about how much he meant.
    He was a pawsome cat.It is hard to lose a beloved kitty.
    He had a happy life with you and you were able to be with him at the end.
    We send comforting purrs.
    Purrs Georgia and Julie,
    Treasure and JJ
    and mom Nancy

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  52. Our heart is breaking for you and your loss. But you did the kindest thing you could do for him and your final act of love to let him go peacefully. We grieve for your loss. big HUGS from M.

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  53. We are so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

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  54. I'm so very sorry to read of sweet Sammy's passing. He lived a wonderful life with you and his fursibs. It's never easy losing our precious furkids. Theresa

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  55. Oh, Terri, I am very sorry to read of your beloved Sammy's loss; this was a lovely tribute to your sweet boy, it made me cry=what a strong, special bond we share with these precious babies...I'm so glad Sammy had such a loving home and Mom...Wishing you comfort at this sad time...Hugs...J, Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat

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  56. I am very sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.

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  57. We are so very sorry Sammy had to leave you. Purrs of comfort and paws of sympathy.

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  58. My heart hurts for you. purrs and purrs

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  59. We are so very very sorry Sammy had to leave for the Bridge today. Soft Purrs of comfort, gentle woofs of sympathy, a hug from our Mom. Please accept our support in your time of sadness.
    Marty, Mom and the Gang

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  60. So very, very sorry about Sammy. It hurts so much to lose a beloved furry. A warm hug, purrs and paw taps of comfort.

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  61. I tried to comment before so hope this one goes through. I am so very sorry for your loss. May your memories of Sammy bring you comfort during this difficult time. Hugs to you...

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  62. You know how Mike and I treasure your friendship and the love you had for Sammy.Your tribute was so beautiful and now I am crying again with you....GOD Bless you and the other babies and RIP for our Sammy....I hope he has gotten reacquainted with his sire and dam, the super power house couple.....as well as other AngelWaves babies that went before him.....
    Love & Hugs.......
    Trish & Mike
    AngelWaves
    Cornish Rex

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  63. Oh Terri - I am so, so sorry to hear of Sammy's passing. What an incredibly touching and beautiful tribute post to your sweet boy. He knew a life of love and he will forever be in your heart. R.I.P. darling boy... Purrs of sympathy from Deb and the Zee/Zoey kitties.

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  64. Oh, Teri, I'm so sorry. Nobody could have been a better Mom to Sammy, and he was truly fortunate that he lived with you and the Furrydance gang. Much compassion and deep condolences to you. Gaté, gaté, paragate, parasamgate ... Bodhi Soha!

    Much love from the Paws and Effect Gang - Thomas, Belladonna, Tara and me

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  65. There are so many things we still need to do with the ones who leave us, so many things undone and unsaid. But Sammy knew you loved him, and you know he loved you. In the end, that's enough. And yet, it isn't quite enough... Godspeed, Sammy.

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  66. Sending you purrrs of comfort during this sad time. We are so sorry for your loss. Sammy was very loved.

    Cory and family

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  67. Teri, I am having trouble seeing the computer screen because my eyes are full of tears. We are so sorry that your Sammy had to go to the Bridge so unexpectedly. Thank you for loving him so much, and so, so well.

    Hugs and gentle purrs to you, dear friend.

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  68. We are so sorry to hear about Sammy crossing over. Many hugs and purrs and purrayers to you because it is so difficult to lose them, even when we know that they are ill. You did so much for him, and he lived a good long 15 years. He is flying free now and waiting for you to eventually join him.

    All of us at Forty Paws and Maw

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  69. We are so very sorry to hear of the passing of your sweet boy, Sammy. We know how much you loved him. Purrs for you as you mourn his loss. God Bless.
    Hugs,
    Angel Normie, Mika, Sasha & Grady Lewis

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  70. Teri I love you. I am so sorry about Sammy. You are such a kind and caring lady, especially to the feline species and I love and admire you for that. My heart goes out to you and to Sammy <3 - Love Billie

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  71. We are so sad to hear that Sammy has gone over the Rainbow Bridge. He was a force in the world and reading you beautiful remembrance was deeply moving. Oh but our furs could live as long as we but it is as it is meant to be. We have to love deeper and harder to get it all in.
    Sammy watch over us all as you fly by on your new angel wings.
    Sending purrs and prayers of support to you all at this sad time
    Timmy, Dad Pete and Family

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  72. Teri, I am in tears for you. And I grieve your loss of precious boy Sammy for you as well. We all of us understand the sorrow and the pain of losing our precious babies. Please accept my condolences. xoxo

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  73. I'm so sorry, Teri. I just heard. *big hugs*

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  74. We are so sorry to hear about the very handsome Sammy. He had a wonderful life with you. Fly free, sweet Sammy. Sending lots of love, hugs, and smooches from all of us at Angel Prancer Pie.

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  75. We are so very sorry for your loss of Sammy. Your heartfelt tribute to him is beautiful. We send you lots of comforting purrs. Please give Kely an extra hug from us; we know she'll miss his snuggles. Our thoughts are with you.

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  76. Godspeed your journey to heaven Sammy; we did not have the honor of knowing you but did want to
    stop by and offer our sincerest sympathies to your mom and your family, we are truly sorry.

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  77. Such a special tribute. So, so sorry for your loss of your precious Sammy. Sending love and gentle purrs your way.

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  78. WE are so sorry for your loss. Purrs to you all.

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  79. We are so sorry to learn of Sammy's passing Teri, we know you go more than the extra mile for all of your swirly darlings. Sammy will be watching over you whilst your heart mends.

    Sending love & rumbly purrs

    Jane, Mungo & Jet xx >^..^<

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